Jonze Starr Baby

For the record, there's nothing wrong with being gay. So there's no need to front about it. Even if you're famous.

Monday, April 24, 2006


Yeah, yeah, Colin Farrell's a big ladies' man. Blah blah freakin' blah. You'd be a big ladies' man too if you were desperately trying to overcompensate for the fact that you used to bang Kevin Spacey. Yeah, I said it! I'm not saying Colin's strictly dickly, now. That would be crazy talk. This one here is bilingual. And you know I'd hit that if I was a dude...and if I wanted hpv.
Wait, before you start in on me and say this is a bad call I'd like to remind you that I love Matthew Broderick just as much as everybody else. I grew up on his movies just like you did, "Bueller? Bueller?" and all that, yes, yes. And don't give me that he's-married-and-has-a-kid blah blah because that doesn't mean shit. Dude is GAY. Deal with it, people. And hell yeah, if I was a dude I'd hit that.




Yeah, I know Queen Latifah doesn't really fit into the whole theme that's going on here, but she's being included because we all know this woman is a hardcore lesbian. But don't you think it's weird that no one ever talks about it? I think it's weird.

Sunday, April 23, 2006










Philip Seymour Hoffman. Have six gayer syllables ever been uttered? Not the prettiest girl at the dance, but he's got an Oscar, so if I was a dude I'd definitely hit that.
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Peter freakin' Sarsgaard







Ok, so get a load of this drama fag who thinks he's fooling somebody. He goes out with Maggie Gyllenhaal, for the love of pink. I could make a rude joke about how their relationship is a total sham and a means for him to give it to her brother, but I won't. I will say however that if I was a dude, I'd do it to him. Hard.
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On The Downlow Since 1996





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Oh my goodness, where to start with this one? Ever since 1990, I've lost sleep over The Great Debate. If given the choice, Luke Perry or Jason Priestley? Finally, I've reached a decision. I'd tap Jason Priestley, if I was a dude...and if it were 1990 again.

  • And while we're pretending it's 1990 again...
  • Don't, don't, don't buy into the whole blissed-out domesticity thing they're selling you. It's all a front. Gay as a goose.

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